- Johnny Depp (via enemaroberts)
if my life was a drink it would be room temperature coke with the ice melted
ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE
TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS
- Peregrine (via youreyesblazeout)
"God damn it!" i yell as i stub my toe on a table. suddenly from the sky, i hear god reply "okay". the floor splits open, revealing a pit to hell. god pushes the table down into the pit, and then it seals up. he actually did it. god damned it.